Sometimes,

I can't handle holidays.
Too much family drama.. and when the day actually comes, magically they put smiles on their faces and all is good and dandy.

Fuck you, all.

The end.

Merry Christmas

I hope you all have a fabulous day and it's filled with joy.

Merry Christmas.

Feel festive and stuff.

Fuck..

Christmas.

So totally not interested this year.
Over it.

Chilling

In the pool.

What is that feeling?

It's really odd, for me to be able to talk to someone and to walk away feeling like I want more, like I crave that person, like I really want to be talking to that person. Usually when I talk/type whichever context it may be I walk away and think "eh, that was alright" this person, which I shall not name, or even nickname for the moment.. Talks to me.. and leaves me waiting and wanting.

I don't know what it is about this person but it drives me completely crazy, we can talk for 2, 3, 4 or even 5 hours and when they log off, to go to work, I lay in my bed wondering. I don't know how healthy this wondering is, but I guess for now it's okay. This person spends the time with me, that any real friend would, this person doesn't judge and is always there, no matter what crazy shit I have to say.
This person, is only recently a new friend, but I hope this person can stay friends for a good while.

Fingers  crossed and things with this friend could be great. If only things stay as they are, and everyone is happy and on the same page, this friend could be around for a super long time.

Because they're worth it.

No living, no.

Sometimes, I wake up and I don't feel like living. It's not like I feel like killing myself because its not like I haven't thought about it, I would just never do it. I simply just feel like turning the other way and curling back I to my pillows. Ignoring everyone and everything that comes across or happens.

Normally when I wake up like this, I am incredibly grumpy, which seems to be the norm for me lately. But I just don't get it. Nothing ever seems to go right and at the last second always takes a right turn. It's like yay you had your two weeks of happiness BAM you don't deserve this anymore.

Either or. I think I'm really over it as of late.
This is the last week of work, with staff here and then it's all the holidays.. Eventually it'll be five weeks time and I'll be going away for two. It should be great.

Other than that. There isn't too much more to say.

The end.

hm.

When should one give up..
When should one move on..

No writing..

Because, well.. I just simply don't know what to say.

Long Distance

I'm not a fan of long distance relationships, I believe that loads of people go into them so they have something, in the moment. Its a 'now' thing now a 'furture' thing for most people and therefore people go into them expecting them to stay online and just keep that person as someone they can be close to and always have around.. even if it isn't physical, it's someone they can talk to and feel comfortable with, without exposing themselves completely.

Most people online have such negative outlooks on online relationships and I totally understand why, how and whatnot but when you're trying to do something and get somewhere, it becomes very taxing and very irritating. The only way I would get into a long distance relationship is..by meeting the person, preferably him coming to me.. him putting in as much effort as I would, lots of general talk about multiple things, also meeting in an area around/with other people for the first time. Then I would only continue things with this person if there were ways we could see each other fairly often, by this time either one of us could do the flying.. and then after that step and a fair bit of time it'd only go further if the effort being put in is still the same, feelings are still the same and one person would move counties/states etc.

You don't truly know if you love someone until you meet, you don't know how things will go until they are standing in front of you and you've touched them. Anything could happen, the person could be fake, they could be some serial killer and what not, so until the steps above have been completed you can't fully 'fall in love' or know this or know that about a person.

I totally forget where I was going with this, but I guess my point was that relationships can begin as online and in the end they can end up as a happy ever after. Negative/judgemental people give me the shits, especially if they've never given anything a chance or even stuck their noses into the wrong place.
In the end it is the person who's doing its life and they can do as they wish. Just be happy for the person, be supportive and keep your own crap to yourself.

I thinks that is all.

Scurrrred.

Shit's getting real.

 

 

uhm..

My Grandfather, pisses me off.. to the point of not wanting anything to do with him anymore.
Everything that happens is pathetic, everything he does makes me angry, he doesn't even realise that.. at the end of the day, if anything is to pull anyone apart or tare anyone apart it'll be his fault.. it'll all be his fault and he won't even give a fuck.

that's all for now.

uh..

These horrible nights of waking at times I really shouldn't be is beginning to really cramp my style.
I wonder if my body realises that whole nights of sleep are better and therefore I would't be go grouchy.

I guess Mr Dreamy makes up for it, I'm quite the happy and content kinda girl for now, no matter which way this goes.

Ah well. That's all for now :)

Gotta love,

 Laughing fits till you can't breathe no more, for no apparent reason.

Sometimes;

I wish I had what I lost, all that time ago.
I wish he was mine and I was his, but sometimes this can't be helped and you forever miss him, even when you've moved on.. Or attempted to.

*shrugs*

Gone

So, today was I guess.. interesting. I don't quite understand how people react and how people speak to each other in our office.. It's like.. sometimes things are all peachy and sometimes there's that much tension in there that you can cut it with a freaking knife. It is, incredibly so freaking incredibly annoying, so hard to deal  with the people and the attitudes that are constantly running hot and cold.

Last thursday this particular staff member wasn't there for the day and the whole atmosphere in the room, was like, almost amazing.  It makes me really wonder what the fuck people are thinking and it really makes me wonder what this girl thinks and how good she thinks she is. She's like a person with a huge ego.. such a big head that you just want to take a pin and pop it.

Moving on from her, our lovely-huge clients contract ran out on friday and we're now into our last week of just the hand over, because dad has a heart and can't just walk away *snickers* I helped her (did most of) put all the paper work in boxes and even hole punch each month to archive.. and she basically not even said thank you and didn't acknowledge any of it. If I hadn't done it, none of it would be done and none of it would ever get done, but this isn't my problem now.

Tomorrow, they come to pick up the paper work and I think they're all incredibly stupid.  It hasn't yet realised in their heads that as soon as it is all gone, like including all the 'current' stuff that I put into the box today, there is no work for her to do in our office, meaning that.. by the end of the day they will be practically gone and I may never have to see her again.

This news, is incredibly exciting.. I'm sure I'll update again soon, but I'm honestly glad that the light is almost blinding me.

:)

Floors

It feels so damn good, to be back in my bed and to sleep through after spending two nights at the grandparents.

We got our floors done over the weekend, insurance job due to water damage and because they had to sand it all back and then coat the floors again, due to the bad smell of the paint we had to go out. leave. gone etc :P

Anyways, Mum isn't quite happy with them, so i'm not too sure what's going to happen but the house still smells *drops my head*

Fingers crossed they have a solution because its monday, and our staff need to work... another weekend out of the house? :/

Swooon...

There is, such high potential..

 

I'm swooning, dreaming.. Sooo much right now..

 

*blushes*

Wednesday...

And I haven't been to the gym all week?!

I think, this rash has been the worst happenings of all ever, Its pushed me into the ground, pretty much and it is driving me completely crazy... and lazy!

Its frustrating when you've gotten into a specific pattern and you know it will be so much bigger and better for you.. and then something comes along and its like STOP! DON'T MOVE. its sooo fucking frustrating, the fact that I've been sitting here, sleeping here and I can't do anything but keep myself cool.. I'm sitting here.. and its not even 9am yet, my body is freezing and my face is warm, although a little of my left cheek has cleared up (thank-god for this) and hopefully the tablets the doctor gave me are working... Only just hopefully very fast.

At least by next week I'll be back on track. 

Compromise?

This is a big question, sometimes, Also a question that a load of people get wrong, it shows when someone is being selfish or when they're thinking of the other people around them as well, it shows how well people listen to what's being said and how they understand it and how they go about things.

I think compromising is hard, it is for anyone because people are people and people always want what they want. People don't like to give a little here and there, when they know that it will benefit another person because they're completely stubborn.

I think compromise is incredibly important in work situations, along with families and pretty much every day life. I think that it is incredibly annoying when people don't compromise and are incredibly selfish and I think that people need to wake up a little bit to see things.

Lets go for an example, the last three days now, I've had an ugly rash on my face and if I don't keep cool, it flares up and I can't do anything other than loose concentration and focus on the itching, the first day I suffered in the office, pretty much walking out for most of the day to pass out on the couch with an icepack on my face, the second day I had put a fan on, I'm not a small girl so it was basically only hitting me, on the lowest setting there is. If there was no fan the day would have ended up similar to the day before and I'd still have gotten no work done.

Sooo.. on second day, the girl next to me.. who clearly doesn't know what clothes are, was wearing the strappiest dress on earth and she complained that she was cold. The options were, turn the fan lower (it was lower) turn it off... (yeah right) or to move it to the other side.. (pointless because it only hit my leg) so what was I supposed to do? Turn the fan off to make her happy when they KNOW its an air-conditioned office but refuse to bring jumpers? Or continue along my way and keep working with the fan on?

Well, as usual.. she got her way and I ended up taking piles upon piles into my room of paper work that I could do, to get it done and then save some time at a later date. I mean it all worked in the end but the fact that she complained about it, pissed me off. It's never on and it's never like that, my face is never this fucked up and needs air, so its usually okay..

But in the end it makes you wonder what goes through peoples heads, what they think, what they know, how they think things should be and how much they enjoy aggravating you.. Oh wells, in the end she'll be gone, gone away with all the drama and I honestly can't wait till she's gone.. OOoh and also she'll be cut down to less days a week because, y'know give people more time and they get less work done *rolls eyes* 

They never use their time wisely. They're given more time to meet deadlines and they just pussyfoot around. Its incredibly pathetic for a job that they're getting paid for.. and to have a father that has to deal with all the complaints, it gets a bit much. Anyways, these peoples will be gone soon, so lets leave it at here.

:)

Fuck, Fuckity Fuck!

Omg. Huge lesson tonight - Eating healthy really DOES go a long long way.

So its been.. 3 and a bit weeks now that i've been on my healthy eating plan and also gyming it, and I've felt a huge difference in the way that I feel, in the way that I wake up, how I spend my day and also act around people, I've started to notice that around my face and my stomach, I've lost a bit of weight and maybe toned. I honestly am starting to feel great.

When we go out, there is no big need for me to have breads or carbs, three weeks and I haven't had pasta, or rice. I've had the tiniest bit of potato and bread and very, very few soft drinks. maybe two? in the last three weeks. After the initial.. first couple of days of trying to get off the shit being eaten.. and the withdrawals its great, I think. When you go out you look for the healthier options, like a salad instead of a burger, add some chicken to it instead of adding bacon and what not to the burger, etc and you just feel better all round.

Moving on from food, I think.. i'm almost.. just almost addicted to the gym. We (sister and i.. sometimes mum and a friend) go almost every night.. its like routine now, you finish work or leave early, get ready, jump in the car, usually pick the friend up and off you go. Its what you almost grow to expect and if it doesn't happen its like O.o.. what's missing? Its quite scary, but i guess.. three weeks so far.. and its probably the most I've ever used the gym membership. I guess I'm paying for it this time :P

Tonight we ended up going out for dinner.. and I think it was the worst idea ever. I've been eating meat and pretty much green veg, for dinner ever night and I honestly love it, I've yet to get bored.. and I cook my food pretty plain so there isn't many sauces but there's always always always plenty of flavour.. andddd.. Tonight i had ribs and salad.. and the sauce, from the ribs made my stomach go upside down.. From not having anything like that to even just a little.. I swear its the worst feeling ever.

So, Tomorrow's a lovely new day.. and I don't plan to be going out for dinner again any time soon if it makes me feel this horrible again. I'll happily stick to my salads, my veg and my protein.

`On the way to a 'bigger,' better, smaller, hotter me :D
That's all for now :)

I...

I'm so worrieddddddd... worried as fuckkkk!

Poor loverboy :(

Sometimes.

I don't like when people comment on my posts because they go back ages and if you haven't read mos of them in some type of sequence they don't know why it was written and it looks a bit silly...

Bad Habit

I have such a horrible habit that happens when I'm feeling down or depressed or.. like a failure that always arises to the surface.. It is absolutely horrible and it drives me crazy. Its like, the worst habit you could ever have, the fact that it can happen in just a few words, the person could be so close and two moments later you've pushed them away too far its almost impossible to save the friendship.

Everyone I speak to, I speak to because I want to, I tell them what I want too and if I don't, I obviously won't.. but sometimes I just can't handle.. I find things impossible and over the top.. Its not always but of course it happens a load around that time of month. I don't mean too.. sometimes it just happens out of my control.. and all I want to hear is.. "no.. don't go."

Its that.. human thing of wanting to be needed, wanting to feel like you're wanted other than.. "yeah go- if that's what you need" because obviously I don't need to go, I just need.. I guess a pair of arms around me. and It's bad, because of the way that I go about it. This is my fault, yeah.. but I haven't quite figured out how to get around it yet.

Oh well. I guess I'll learn one day.


Too many blog posts tonight. Too much on my mind. Too much driving me crazy.

Fat..?

I feel so flat.
Like absolute crap..

It is so hard, to do anything with weight loss, although I have in a week done 2kg, 4.4 pounds.
It's something and for that I'm really, really happy but I just feel really confused, lost, struggling. Everyone in the house, minus my father is on a health kick and it's all good but ughhhhhh.
I'm kind of stuck for words.

On the scales, since the last time i weighed myself, i mean like.. at the beginning of this year i'm really not too fat, from what I was, but it's enough to not be happy and to struggle and to attempt to get through this. I think I have a crazy goal and maybe i'm not giving myself enough time to achieve it and obviously it won't happen over night but its just so fucking frustrating.

When you see things, you want to eat them and IF you do eat them, most the time they taste so horrible. I was at my grandparents today into tonight and they offered me a can of diet coke.. I really had no choice to say no because he just handed it to me but to finish the can it took me hours. The taste of it was quite disgusting.. so that's soft drink out of it.. no problems at all.

But the rest sucks, I need to sort things out.. I need to find a way that it suits me..
Fuck fuckity fuck.

That's enough for now.

:)

Lover boy?

...maybe

Gymimg it.

It's been four days or so since I joined the gym, my sister is hooked an always going so of course I've been going with her, slowly getting more and more into it.. Although getting ready and leavin the house is the worst part. It's okay though. Four days since I've joined and I've so far been here three days. Not a bad effort for a dislike of gyms all together, battling weigh issue isn't really fun but it's time to make things better, more than letting myself and getting worse.

It's time to make the lifestyle change, rather than just do some crappy diets, healthy choices rather then.. Shitty ones. I decided I'm going to get off the diet I'm on and do just that, salads and tuna or chicken for lunch rather than sushi. I can do it. I wonder where this effort and positive look on things has come from. Funny thing is I'm sitting on a spin bike and my legs are going round and round as I sweat and type. So delicious.

Thanks muchly to all the people helping and supporting. It certainly does help when everyone in the house have started the health kick. Soon we'll look just as good, if not better than others.

:)

Dealing.

Sometimes, I feel like when I'm put in a situation I can't breathe, I get stuck and my first emotion is anger. I'm such an incredibly angry person and sometimes it drives me completely batty, the worst problem being that I know, how I get but my coping mechanisms don't seem to change, or I'm that stuck in a funk that I don't see any other way. Ican say that I have changed a load over the last couple of years but there's still so much growing to do.

I hate situations that make me feel uncomfortable. Even sitting next to someone where there's tonnes of tension. Right now I'm sitting next to the girl I always sit next to but there's so much negative tension between us that it's insane. It makes me just want to walk out and not come back till someone else is in the room.

It's not that I hate her, well maybe a little but she did things to get me feeling the way I do towards her, it wasn't just a random hate that appeared out of no where and till this day, it cotinues to be all about her and she thinks shes top shit because she does the work for one of the biggest companies ever. It's like HELLO you're completely fucked soon. As soon as they go, we becomes my bitch. Must train her well otherwise if there's errors, on shit she enters.. Good luck to her :)

Along with other, spare work that she'll be thrown I'm sure she'll have a whole load of fun. It seems like today she can finally move over and sit CENTRAL to her desk instead of everything  lapping over onto mine. Silly bitch needs to lean how to use a desk, without spreading her shit everywhere. Also some like, care for what she does and everyone around her instead of her 'oner' at the moment. It's like she's come in and from the beginning she was taken up under someone's wing and then believes that person is her boss, which she isn't and then furthermore, she has no respect for anyone else in the office, which of course makes the issues everyone elses and she's done nothing wrong.

Anyways, so you can see quite clearly that I don't know how to let go, but my head is so sore today by just siting here that I wanna reach over and slap her incredibly hard so she's knocked out and can't remember a whole while.


I hate the silent ones, they're always so deadly.

Loss.

I've got a new craze.

Lose 10kg in 5.. 6 weeks maximum.

So many people have told me that's too much, and for the moment the way I'm going with losing wright isnt the best, but all I want to do is drop it and the. Focus on makin it better and improving what I am to eat.

It's time for a change. It's time for a big loss. It's time to look after myself, time to make myself happy.

Goal is the weight and not to waste all this money I just spent joining the gym.

All I can say, is best of luck to myself. But I can do it, I'll push and get to where I want to be.

I can think of my next holiday of the reward, but obviously.. I'd like more then just 10kg by January.

We'll see. I may keep you guys posted. Its just the beginning of the journey.

Not worth it.

Hmm.

So, the best news ever. My dad has finally figured that enough is enough and he told the owners of the biggest company we do work for that we can no longer do it. Along with giving in his resignation on Monday, this means that one of the girls I dislike muchly will be out of a job, considering she was only hired to do their work. There is literally no other work for her to do. 30 days from Monday and it all slowly ends. The other lady, that I also dislike might also get a little hint and get back into her correct place. She's taken a little responsibility to a new level and thinks she's the damn boss, which we all know she's not.

She thinks that hate#2 is such a great worker, so hard working and what not.. And thinks she deserves to stay.. But she's always thinking about herself and not what's best for the company. Either way, really dad did say we may keep her for 10 hours work maximum but that will involve her helping me and I don't want to talk to her, let alone work with her soooo if it's up to me.. I'll never need her help and I'll do it all myself, hence we'll have absolutely nothing for her. *smiles brightly*

It's just not worth it anymore, to be honest. We could go so much further without them, even though it things had worked out it could have been great. We can give the other staff more work it they don't have this huge client and my father would finally get his weekends off as well. I mean, to have a life and be able to enjoy it? What else would anyone else want? The staff leave daily, they enjoy their weekends, time with their family and what not.. Don't they think we'd like that with our father as well?

One knows and says yes, the other must be afraid.. Thinking she'd lose her job too.. Although, she'll just work and do what she was hired for in the beginning. Her number one loss would be that her 'puppet' would be gone. Her best friend that's the biggest snob ever, would be gone. It'd be a calmer, happier environment knowing that I can wake up and that cow won't be here.

It would be, amazingly great.
I can't wait.

Parents.

I swear, sometimes parents get a little too much, it feels like you're trapped in a corner, your knees pulled up against your chest and your head dropped between your knees. My dad is easier to deal with and easier to be around than my mum is, but being that I work with him and my sister of course too.. it just makes life easier when you can get along and the person doesn't react at everything.

My mother on the other hand drives me batty, she doesn't work and practically sleeps most the day, if not she's gone out to the gym or to get her hair done and sometimes she's running errands but not too often. Beyond this my sister just moved out, a month or two ago and she thinks she's now doing everything. I mean for someone that doesn't work and spends most her day sleeping I'm sure its not too hard to be able to do some washing or some cleaning and even cook dinner at night.

Randomly you get these little side comments of.. "now that your sister is gone, I seem to be doing more" Its like she thinks we never do anything around the house. Never mind that we work 9 - 6:30 every day almost. Fair enough, there's three women and one male in our house, when we come across something we clean it, empty the bin, empty the dishwasher etc but we don't all the time. sometimes we're working and we're only out for a drink.. does she expect us to do it in like.. literally two moments?

Things like this make me go meh, its like when you do something, you don't get a thank you and she really doesn't care but if you don't do something she sits and bitches at you forever, her nagging is so incredibly annoying for someone that thinks she does everything, I reckon she does more nagging than anything. Although what  can I say? - Sleeping is quite tiering.

Girl you really turn me on. You know you make my engine run..~

That Terrifying Feeling..

Of wanting to give up, because only one thing was too hard.. because you feel so lost without that person/thing.. because .. I fucked up.. and the only thing i want to do is run, is to hide.. is to close myself away and attempt to deal with it, knowing it'll only grow worse. The best part is.. that there's probably no hard feeling.. and it'll all be perfectly fine.. but running seems to be the easy way out.

What is the fucking point anymore?
What's the point of working for your family when you never get heard, when no one takes the fucking time to STOP and listen to what ever you have to say but when someone else says the exact fucking thing? Is there a difference to what she said and what i said - no. there was nothing but you continue to always treat me like shit and not give a fuck about anything.

When you need to be payed and your staff, the next week payments need to be processed won't be paid  due to no money there's no fucking rush to get the money in on their part because the client is the important one and if they aren't happy we don't deserver more, DON'T factor in that you WON'T be paid therefore we WON'T need you anymore. Now it comes down to the fact that the client isn't happy and after a WEEK of chasing the same issue over and over it finally gets sorted, they still aren't happy and need more answers but we magically DON'T need to worry about that anymore.

My solution to the problem was perfectly fine. It wasn't wrong and nor did i do anything wrong. That stupid fucking cow needs to mind her own business and focus on her shit not whatever the fuck is on my screen. Things were passed along just FINE but noo. make a big fucking deal out of it.

Pathetic pieces of shit, i couldn't give a fuck is they suddenly fell into a deep hole, in the fucking ground.

Ridiculous.

How Or when do you know, that its over reacting?
Are you supposed to be everyones little puppet in life? Do as they wish and make them happy? Or are you supposed to live your own damn life and hope or watch them pretend they're happy for you? When.. oh when does one actually give respect back, to the people it always comes from? and when.. have things gone too far?

Last night, we were kicked out of the house for four hours, while my sister decided she was going to make her boyfriend dinner. From the beginning, I was never asked if this was okay, nor did anyone even give a fuck what I thought. So whatever, in the end I went out and it was okay to begin with, we picked up my mums sister, my aunt.. obviously and went out to dinner. Four hours is a long time, to waste between the time of 8 - 12, when everything finishes quite early and things close in this shitty city.

After dinner, we sat around for quite a while but time proved that it had only hit 10pm.. by this time my mum had gotten an okay from my sister for us to be back by 11.. we still had an hour to kill. The next half hour we sat in the car and talks, dropping my aunt home and all these things and then there was half hour left.. the thing that pissed me off to the max came next.. we drove a little further and stopped, it was in a small shopping complex with a small variety of stores.

I'm sure you can guess but.. the store they went into isn't one that you go into with your kids, I patiently waited and waited in the car.. I was so fucking bored that I wanted to call my sister and tell her we were on our way back now.. but noo.. one must wait for the silly little girl to get her dammed way which she always seems to get whilst my parents took their sweet time.

Once they came back, my mother asked me why I told her sister, and my reply was simply.. "why did you two have to go in there?" we left.. drove in silence for quite a while before she asks.. "and who else will you tell?" and my dad turns around and replies.. "the whole world" and.. even in this post, I haven't mentioned it, to anyone else last night and this morning I haven't mentioned it, the store could be anything, including a restaurant, desert place, a certain shop I don't enjoy going into.. (if you have ideas in your head this isn't my problem)

Moving along, after that I was incredibly pissed off.. and my mum goes.. "oh.. I didn't realise it'd hve pissed you off that much" Yeah mum, you don't know me and your'e oblivious to how your children react from what happens. Because I've only been born 19 years and you totally don't know this yet.. is incredibly disappointing to your whole entire parenthood.

Anyways.. In the end... I'm not to sure if I'm over reacting or if its something I can be angry at.. obviously it has irritated me and pissed me off to the end of no point.. but its so hard, they talk to you, even from two minutes after it happened like nothing had happened, like it was nothing and like I shouldn't even worry about it.

I believe I have every right to be mad, to be upset and I think its fucked that my sister always gets what she wants, its like this whole world was just made to revolve around her and her schedules. Its fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Just like the whole of last night was.

The end.

Sigh.

I'm slowly falling apart, bit by bit this real life shits getting too much to deal with.

Its so fucking depressing and its so hard to keep myself together..

Just a little bit more.. I hope till its over..

Or wil anything ever change?

:/

The Dominant & submissive world?

Well, you'd think that it'd be a suitable life style for most people, the fact that either the female or the male dominant one would be there for you, you'd be able to let yourself go and give and confide in them, all of your trust but it normally works out that when you finally find someone you think you can trust, they fuck you over. I'm not saying that this happens all the time but fairly often. I guess that's what happens online with the majority of things.

When does it come to a time when you should tell someone everything? When does it come to the time where you need to move on from one and see where your life goes? When does it move from just 'something' to something completely magical? What is right and what is wrong? When does someone begin to treat you unfairly? This is a little ongoing from a previous post i've written.. Older Post.It basically described what I thought about each and every type of D/s relationship that there is around and I thought i'd re-write and see where my thoughts have changed.

Once again lets start with the Dominant ones.. How do you start? I'm completely lost for a moment.. I think my thoughts kind of still flow the same, especially on the part of the Dominant males, pick on people your own size and don't force, harass or use the 'Dominant' ways against or to lure a woman in. Just because a female is submissive, it doesn't mean she'll let you get into her pants with your first couple of words or.. 'actions'. moving along to the bigger, greatest Domme's I have yet to come across a sincere decent one, I think you're all completely full of shit and that if you want to be a bitch to a person of your choice that you're preying on, please fuck off and get a life. You can be a bitch every day you wish and every moment you breathe  - there is really no need to pick a certain person to be a rude c$*t too.

Submissives, I still believe that there is nothing wrong with being yourself, there is nothing wrong with pushing boundaries and also sticking up for yourself. If you've found the right guy or girl, the right Dominant for you, rules will forever be flexible and they will care enough for you to stop when you say no, to keep going when you say more..  Its all in the amount of trust you have in someone, you aren't just i piece of gum that they can walk all over and there is nothing wrong with being a strong minded, will powered woman. Continue, when you must to stick up for yourself and be you, even while being a little, a slave, a submissive. "Don't take the easy way out and jump into a D/s relationship that 'solves' all your problems.. until that's over too."

Those girls, that like to be trampled all over, not in a literal sense, I still go with the words of.. you need help and need to move on bigger and beyond that, it will literally get you no where in life if you haven't yet realised. but I guess if you want to be treated like this forever then meh. Such is your choice and one day you'll realise that you deserve so much better.

I don't know how much of a different this is to the other post but I'd just like to finish it off with a couple of more paragraphs. I'm still not knocking the whole D/d relationship, infact I think they are amazingly great. By now I've been in a few and the difference of what you want  and what you're getting  are obviously different and one can tell. But there's also what you want to get.. which is about where I am for the moment. Obviously things can always be better but you just live and learn.. and continue to be vocal and tell them what you want. The whole relationship is basically built on trust so if things aren't working, neither are your communication skills and if they are.. then.. you're not in the right place.

The end :). .  

Work, Home, Work..

I feel so lost and lonely tonight, I feel like I'm dropping deeper and deeper into a deep, dark and scary place. I honestly don't know why this is happening nor why I'm feeling like this, but all I know that its horrible. Work lately has been disgusting, around certain people. Its becomming to hard to deal with, almost every day. These people don't even understand what they're doing and how they're acting, although they're always the first ones to blame it on someone else because their shit don't stink.

I understand that to these people they're only doing a job, at the end of the day they leave the office and walk out of our front door, they have no more worries, they don't have any stresses, they don't have wages to pay and each and every week they get their pay and y'know life is good.
But when do they realise that they work for a company? a small, family, business that depends on revieving moneys from their clients for their own staff to be paid? when will they realise that it comes to a time where the company won't be able to afford them?

Sometimes it makes me wonder what world people live in, what they think when they're at work and when they're talking, when they're doing stuff and if they ever do stop to think about others. Clearly this isn't the case, what so ever. Does no one care how they make people feel? do they not care how what they say affects the other person and how that person, being around can make a whole office feel so incredibly uncomfortable? Honestly, I don't know how much more of this I can take.

Everyday I wake up in the morning, its like "just another day" another battle and another day of stress to get through. People don't understand in these little businesses that if the business isn't running, everything in the background, the people and the family are also stressing. Its not necessarily my problem nor my stress to worry about but for some reason, being concerned about family isn't too far away from under my wing. I do care, of course I care and I think in this certain circumstance, this silly bitch needs to be removed from the senario, or the work should be taken away from her so that the problems finally stop. I mean she wasn't hired for this.. but no matter how much I say, it doesn't matter most the time.

Everyone thinks I'm bias, because I hate her.. but there are several reasons for this, and they're actually genuine and actually, for once is more than just.. "I just hate her." Its so fucking frustrating, knowing that when you wake up, every day will be like the last, the office surroundings will feel horrible, because as soon as she walks through the door its like HUGE amounts of anger and frustrations radiating off her. She thinks she can say and do as she likes and pays no attention to anyone or anything else. I think its time for a reality check.. if only I could think of a subtle way of doing so..

*begins brain storming*

Hmm, So the last month of so has been extremely stressful, very full on and I honestly felt like i was falling apart. Loads and loads of things have happened butI think I'm in a decent place for the moment.

First of all it began with weird ass pains, some issues with an Ex which obviously ended.. and then with the flu. It took about a week or randomly times rests to finally get better and in that time it seemed that the week it all happened up until today is also the week that a few people felt like reconnecting. I think its great. To get back in touch with great friends makes me happy.

To know that they're there again when you need them puts a smile on my face, sometimes it just makes life a whole lot easier to have people there for you, as I'm sure we all know. Its been a shitty couple of weeks but I'm hoping from today onwards the day will get better and be great. I can only hope!

That's all for now :)

Nail Obsession?

I think so.

When is it..

Too early to move on with your life after someone else?

Of course if its just fresh, you're always thinking about him.. possibly what it could have been and where it could have gone. I know that I had high hopes for where things could have gone and what they could have been.. but as usual its in the heat of the moment and it never seems to go anywhere for whatever reason that there may be.

I know there's still a little sting, but I really think that his long, extended way of leaving kinda helped me along. I knew it was coming and although, when it came I was super upset.. now I'm either numb or I've moved on really quickly.. which I don't think happened because.. He was amazing. He was everything I needed and we learnt such huge amounts.

Its a shame about what happened, on his end and that things couldn't continue but.. as he said.. he wasn't giving me what I needed.. or deserve. So I guess life moves on. Of course he'll never be forgotten.. and he'll always have that special place but.. when is it okay to move on?

*ponders a little*

I've kept my blog to myself for a while now, while I was processing.. there wasn't many thoughts that I would write down, considering I was emailing him and.. they're all now deleted. Its a shame that I didn't keep copies of some of those emails because some were really great.

They were all so deep, so meaningful.

So I'm back now.. and I hope that things go well. Its just the beginning of a new journey and the close of an old. He'll always be around.. and I hope things get better for him.

Sounds a little open ended..but it'll do.

I'm back.

:)

Falling to bits.

Its over.. that day finally came... I knew it was close.. but who knew it'd hurt so much.

Sigh.

- Forever your Angel.

A little catch up.. I miss posting.

Sometimes, when I'm just laying millions of thoughts are running through my head. Right now I'm getting reflexology done on my feet, basically a foot massage and it feels so good! I wish I has my head in Daddy's lap and he was playing with my hair softly, or he was just relaxing too, reading a book whilst maybe getting a massage too.
One day we'll get to be together and it'll be the best day ever.

People seem to be staying away this time which is great but then you still have a few which like to try with the drama.. And you know what? Fuck you.

I had a great day yesterday, we basically.. Shopped and spent a ton of money. I was a little disappointed with a few people but that's life, what more can you expect? Today we shopped again and tomorrow we'll do more.. To be honest Its starting to grow old quickly. One and a half days left at least and it's back to reality.. Although my dad and sister are off to a seminar on Wednesday/Thursday, leaves me in charge of the office. *giggles evily*

Anyways.. I don't remember where I was going with this but I guess it will do.

Hope you're all well.. Well the people that matter anyways :)

His mine. There's no drama.

I'm happy, he make me happy as much as I make him, he's the first person I've ever been able to open up to, ever in my life as I like to keep very closed up and not let a lot out. He knows everything about me, he knows every ex, everything that happens on my day to day life and I trust him with ALL my secrets and with my trust.

It hasn't always been perfect with him and we both have our ups and downs but we work together, we talk and we sort whatever the problem is out. This man means the absolute world to me an without him I'd be completely lost.

It's the 26th today, that means my birthdays tomorrow.. And as I sit here on the plane thinking 'positively' even without him being around it will be a perfect day and at a later date I'll get all the attention I need from him. I bet it'll be special, hehe.

There's not a moment of each and any day that passes that he's not on my mind, he's a beautiful man with such a kind heart. And to think that he works till so late at night but always finds time to come online and tell me that he's okay. What else do you need, to make you smile?

- Angel

Story Time..

Once upon a time, there was this evil website and obviously a lot of people online, I think it had something to do with sex but i'm not entirely sure.

Magically these two people started, one a guy who we shall call Daddy and one a girl, who we shall name Angel. They spoke for a few hours..she had a big smile on her face, happy that for once someone just didn't want to get into her pants. Things developed further and they made their way onto Yahoo Messenger where they spoke pretty much every day, things eventuated and they were both happy.. after a few weeks, she became his sub, his pet and him her Sir.. she was extremely happy that they were finally together because ever since day one, her feelings had grown and grown for him, although he did not know.

Soon after this, pet had gone on vacation to the United States and Sir was having some personal issues, while she was away things had ended between them, to give him some time to figure it out, in this time pet was very upset and didn't enjoy much of her time away as all she could think of was Sir, how much she wanted to see him, be with him and how much she wished to be in his arms. It was a very hard time for her and she was devastated. Her trip continued and three and a half weeks later she was back home, they were talking every day and still incredibly close, in her opinion, more than ever. She cherished him as a best friend, as someone she could talk to whenever and about whatever, she trusted him with everything and he was always there for her.

During the weeks after pet being home, she got into another relationship with another guy, in this time Sir was still there, not as Sir obviously but he still cared for pet, like she was his own, he gave her all the advice she pushed.. and in the end asked for and was always there no matter what happened, looking after her, making sure she was okay and that everything was going as best as it could. Soon after that ended a week later due to issues on both sides, Sir and pet were still extremely close, she never forgot him, a day never passed where he wasn't in her mind, he meant the world to her and he always has, she's always had and kept that special little part of her heart for him.. each and every day her feelings grow more for him.

Moving along, after that relationship with 'the other one' Sir soon became Daddy and pet became Angel or little gurl.. His angel and His little girl. She was extremely happy to be his again, that empty part in her heart was filled again and things got better and better until soon after Daddy began having a few issues. This, till this very day tears his angel apart and she feels so lost and helpless, his words travel through her head every day.. "Everything will be okay" but she misses him a huge amount and she feels so empty without him. She cares so much and to see him hurting sucks. Tonight Daddy and Angel spoke on voice and he sounded so scared, so upset.. it hurt her so much that.. all he had to say was " I Miss You" a few times for her to break down and be in tears.

Her feelings still grow for him, every day.. You could almost say love, but maybe that's too strong for now... She craves him, his voice and the way he treats her, it makes her feel complete and like he's the best thing in the world. She just wants him to be happy, she wants them both to be happy together instead of.. worried and hoping that everything will be okay, she wants everything to be okay and everything to be perfect. She'd love nothing less than to be in his arms while they're wrapped around her.. she knows that he'd love that too.

She just wants him to know that she's always here for him when he needs someone to support him most., and if its not as his litter girl, its as his equal.

- Angel.

hehe..

*whispers.." "*

Just incase you were wondering..

I won't be blogging anymore.. or at least you lot won't be seeing it. (unless its something meaningless and rant-y.)

The End~

Happy?

A feeling I haven't felt in such a long time.. and to finally feel that its amazing.

<3 Angel.

Confession.. 026

I'm going to become a Nun and settle alone.

Things.. that make you go,

People.

Sometimes, people are incredibly annoying, I have no time or patience for anyone or anything, It may not be so much the peoples fault but I guess mine in the end, I lose any time or patience i had at the beginning so super quick. I'm so over everything lately, I'm over peoples bullshit and excuses.. I just want, whatever it is so be blunt and straight out there. There's no need for sugar coating, along with that.. I really don't give a fuck.. or two.

Life is at a good point for me right now, there are no 'official' relationships and as much as I want one, I don't really need one.. I'm happy where I am, I know that I have people who care for me and will always be there, I have a person (s) that makes me incredibly happy and smiling, all the time even if I don't like to admit it.. I'm happy here. Wherever here may be.

I'm still so incredibly confused and lost, but I'm a teenager, what else would I be? Hehe.

Life is okay, outside of work now that all the drama is over..

As for work.. When I'm in the right mood I'm sure a nice angry post will come..

I must go.

Happy Days.

Relating to the person mentioned in this post.. I decided to write another.

Simply starting with..:-

Happy Birthday!

You, my lovely one, deserve the best day one could ever have, I honestly wish I could have been there to do all I could to make it maybe a little bit better, but I guess I'll just do what I can from oceans away... (I think I already did that.. *insert small, bratty giggles here)

I don't take back any words mentioned in the last post I wrote about you, for a good while we've been talking now and I honestly have not regret one day, from that little hard few.. weeks to now it has all been a journey and one definitely worth going through.

You are an amazing guy, you know all the right things to say at the right times and I consider you one of my best friends. You had helped me through rough times and you have always always managed to put a smile on my face.

Again, I thank you a million.. for everything that has happened and we have both been through together, without you I honestly have no idea where I would be right now.

This may be a bit repetitive and soppy.. but Thank you.. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to have began talking to me that day...

Once again.. Happy Birthday.

p.s. that guy i described on yahoo to you... was you.

- Angel

End it.

I love it when people read blog posts of mine and think they're about them. A few people have done it but this big drama shit? from the very first day, they assumed that the posts were about him, they thought that everything I wrote was about them and no one else. They have no idea what happens in my life, who I'm missing, who I care about but yet, they always thought it was ALL about HIM or THEM.

Do we all see the problem here? There are very few posts that I have written that involve them, or even mention them. Maybe the post was written on something that happened with him/them but never were they mentioned or even brought into it, a lot of the time it was just my thoughts on the situation.. that's right, my thoughts..

I'd like to mention too, that from day one, when the first post was misinterpreted it was about a guy that I was really close with and a now 'ex' coming back into the situation, I was upset and a mess and someone was all sad saying that someone had died, some how that moved four days later to "I Love you" and ever since that shit hasn't stopped. I'd like to clearly point out that I Don't Love You and I haven't. Sure we were friends, we got close but in four days to say those words? bit creepy, don't you think?

I cared about you, you were my friend and nothing else, it was horrible seeing you suffer and I, out of kindness tried to help you as much as I could but now? now what? now you two make everything into drama, I could have ruined things between you two with just saying three words and you would have left her and come to me. but I didn't.. why didn't it? because I wanted nothing, and ever since you two have been together you've been trying to make it like I'm jealous and I want him. I don't think he's telling the truth on everything and she's just a stupid bitch for believing everything.

You're both as insecure as the other and you're driving me fucking crazy. Erase my name from the sentences you speak, don't think about me, don't love me and leave me alone for fuck sake.

I still have more proof about things that happened after the date of the '16th' but I'm not going to show anything more than that one paragraph , I'm not going to wreck anything and you can both live happily.. just quit the fucking drama.

Its not fair on me, but he's not treating her fair either. Clear your shit up and start fresh. Its doing my fucking head in already. Move the fuck along and quit thinking everything's about you, Its all happened now.. but don't let it happen again. it isn't fair to whoever the other person copping all this shit is.

Just incase you missed a very important point.. I'm over it, I want nothing more to do with either of you and I want ALL this drama to stop. Grow up, act your fucking ages.. I'm younger than you both. End it..

End the drama and live, live your own life how you wish, without including me in anything.

ehm..

I don't understand what you expect me to do.

Confession.. 025

I don't feel well.

Bed time at 9:30 for me.

Life's so sucky at the moment, and I wish people would get the hint, that I'm not interest nor do I give a fuck, so they can like.. move on with their lives.

Beyond that..

Its just that feeling.. of wanting so badly to be in his arms, but he's way too far :(

Goodnight.

bleh

I feel so lost today, so confused and so, just.. bleh.

I'm over unnecessary drama, I'm over people being immature and pathetic.. I'm over it all and I wish people would grow up.

Sigh, I feel so lost, in my own head. I hate getting close to people, I hate how things happen online and how pathetic people can get.. honestly I don't understand how I can really do anything..

People will be people.. and no matter now long this lasts.. you can't expect anything more from them, I guess..

The end.

Meh.

Funerals.

A couple of days ago I went to a funeral.

I started writing this post, yesterday I believe and came back to it today, I wasn't sure what to write but I think I'll just ramble on a little.

The person was someone close but not close enough for me to be crying and stuff, sure it was very sad, but it was also interesting to see, it was the first funeral I had been to and I'm glad it was that one, it was all closed coffin and the lady, god rest her soul was lowered into the ground in the coffin too. In some other religions I believe its incredibly different e.g Muslims and what not. Just incase you were wondering, I'm Greek Orthodox.

So, I went because my cousin had asked me to go.. but as it usually does she finds comfort in someone else or kinda just things go meh.. and it did, I didn't expect things to go any more different then they did but of course i was kinda disappointed, all that aside, most of it was okay, it went how they normally go, everyone was crying, sad, showing their respects to the family, but it was her time to go, she had suffered so long, in the slightest, I mean, being diagnosed with a critical heart condition, almost 19 years ago.. she had a tough life and now she can finally be at rest.

It makes me sad, when things like this happen, the lady was 61 years of age, she was young.. now put things into perspective and know that your grandparents are older, or your father has just passed 50.. and each and every one of them could be right around the corner, or some freak accident could happen and someone really close to you could pass, its sad, but its part of life and something we must deal with on a daily basis, I guess going to these things just make the thoughts that flood through a little worse or more intense for the moment.

It kinda sucks.. I lie.. it really fucking sucks but i guess it'll all be okay for now, I couldn't imagine the day that i lost someone really close to me.. I'd be a complete and utter mess.

What can we do? for now we don't think of these things, just I guess, know the time will come.

We can try and hide.

“Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.” ― Marilyn Monroe

I don't want to make money, I just want to be wonderful.

- Marilyn Monroe

I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it.

- Marilyn Monroe

I have too many fantasies to be a housewife. I guess I am a fantasy.

- Marilyn Monroe

I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure.

I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle…

But if you can’t handle me at my worst,

then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best!

—Marilyn Monroe

Unknown.

Its a pity when you have those friends you classify as 'very close' or 'great' and then others come across and push their nose into things.. causing that persons train of thought to go fucked.. its like watching your best friend in high school be influenced by the 'bitch' and suddenly from doing well in school they begin doing drugs and never turning up.. It feels like you lose apart of you, someone you could trust and talk to. But really how much could you if in just a short time this person has been influenced that much that their thoughts have turned to shit?Its such a shame to watch, to lose what you had, no matter how long it was for and what it was.. it will always be something and always had been something.

Maybe they're happier where they are now? maybe in the near future they'll be running from that and back to what they had.. but how long do you keep that spot open? do you risk it all happening again and you getting hurt? when do you close off and expect better from people? When do you know when enough is enough? Do you have to be the nice one that gets walked all over all the time, the one that's always left those spots open, that catches every 'friend' when they fall?

Do these people ever realise what they're doing to the other person?

Do they understand how much this hurts, every time it happens?

Do they even really care..?

So many thoughts, so many questions.. you can answer them all from what you see, but what do they think about it all? Do they read or see something and come running to you the next day with what you've heard many times before or do they continue

to ignore you?

Is Karma the answer?

Will that sort your thoughts?

Will it sort your problems?

Will it sort your everything?

Who knows, what's supposed to be in this big, wide world, who knows what's supposed to be the answer to anything, to everything. Apparently god has a plan.. apparently there's a one for everyone, some day we'll all get ours.. we just have to wait and see.

Confession.. 024

Woohoo!

I hate being sick!

I just enjoy, spending two days in bed.. as sick as a freaking dog. In the last 48 hours, god knows how many of them have been spent sleeping.. but i'd say most have.

I hate being sick, feeling so heavy, drowsy, sneezing, runny nose my head feels like its honestly about to explode. FML like they say.

Thank you to a few special people who have been there and made sure that i've been okay.. you three mean a lot.. even though you couldn't physically be here, your words did enough.

Sooo, lets hope i'm back on my feet by tomorrow and back to work, because another day of pure sleeping shall drive me crazy, although it feels like i haven't slept at all :/

Confession.. 023

There's always that awkward moment when a really good friend goes out with someone you can't stand.. and they could do and have so much better.. knowing that when/if things end, it'll be a train wreck.

confession.. 022

song,

no youtube option anymore?

I'm sorry.

Confession.. 021

Usually when my friends are happy and are going through good parts of their life.. i like to be happy with them and be there for them.

Grow up, People.

These Complicated Things.

 My thoughts, ever since I've come back.. have literally been eating me alive and I'd be surprised if they weren't the reason for my fucking shitty ass sleep last night.. but life moves on. There are.. at least two people.. that seem to like me at the moment, although they are all in America (silly people) there's one that I'm very close and leaning towards as of late. Ever since I arrived home, all that has been on my mind is him, he's an amazing guy but I'm so incredibly scared, I've been open and honest with him the whole time this has been going through, he knows everything and there are no secrets.

I'm not scared of committing myself, I'm not scared of hurting him.. I'm.. just scared of myself. (If that makes any sense.) I've been the biggest mess, I've been so confused and lost that a lot of the time I just zone out and disappear into a land that I don't even know.. I guess its my route of escape to get away from my thoughts.. or to at least drown in them.

We've spoken many times about us being together.. and we've mentioned how it might not work.. and it always comes down to the option of 'what do you really want' is it worth trying for or should things just stay as they are, although on both ends the feelings are there, does anyone ever really know what to do? Is it maybe the fact that I'm so afraid of getting hurt over and over that I just don't want to do anything? I don't want to lead him on and drag him along.. so I've made sure to include him in my crazy thought processes. He's never judged me, never pushed me along in a certain direction, no matter what he wants and he's always been there from me, always.. from the time we started speaking, almost a year ago.

He does, and he knows that he means a lot to me and that I really do care.. It's really disappointing we didn't get to meet while I was there and I was quite close.. but I guess meeting just wasn't meant to be this time. Time apart and not talking made us both realise that we missed each other tremendously and how much one meant.. along with some other stuff from the past, which always factors in on my thoughts too.. which I'm not too sure if he knows.

I guess we'll just wait and see how things go and how they progress.. as for now, back to my unknown world.

Tunes # 7

Totally obsessed with this, ever since the states.

Armerica.. 00008 - THE END.. part 1

Home sweet home.
It feels so amazing to finally get off that 14 hour flight and  know that you're home, with the ones that you love and love you most, no matter how much they annoy you. Its amazing how much things change in such little time and how much you realise that you missed someone, when you see them. I don't like to admit, but I missed my twin a shit load, sure we've been away from each other but not for such a long time. she's like my second leg, without her i'm.. myself but I feel so empty. I also missed the huge bitch sessions we have. Hehe.

I was going to upload some picture from the trip and show some of what was taken, but I seem to be a little lazy at the moment. I will certainly get to that.. Oh and I still think Cali is amazing.

:)

Armerica.. 00007

I leave the states today, not for a good while though because our plane departs at 11:55pm
But I leave today and I'm actually really excited to go home..  Only until I get there because we land at 7am and by 9 my dad wants me working.. Yay for life. (It didn't happen thank god, i have at least until tomorrow..)

I leave today and although I will miss one particular person I've been talking to a crap load over the past   three weeks, I can't wait to get back home. All good things, eventually come to and end.

I did edit this post.. and I'll still continue to keep it short and sweet...

See you all soon!

I..

FUCKING MISS YOU

:/

its been too long..

Armerica.. 00006 - Confession

I love California, Hollywood, Los Angeles, universal studios.. 

Heck! The whole area!!

Armerica.. 00005 - Quick Update.

When I wrote this ha, I was sitting in Detroit airport, the day after we were supposed to be leaving of course, last night after flying all day from Aus through to Detroit our flight to Cleveland was cancelled due to the weather and they wouldn't fly out,. My lovely mummy and I were a little frustrated but we were given a hotel.. Best western and we slept straight through the night, was so good to sleep on a bed and not a chair for once! Now we're just waiting. Shortly we shall be going to check and see of we can get an earlier flight and surprise everyone, even the guys expecting us since they now don't know what time we're coming!!

Yay! Can't wait to finally arrive and be in the right place.

Everything's backwards in America. Everything!!


I totally forgot I had this post sitting here.. We finally got to Cleveland and then flew out the next day to NYC. It's been incredibly amazing, I love it!!

I Believe.

Hmm, I thought i'd write a quick? post before I left, or at least climbed out of bed and finished getting ready, I owe a huge thank you to a few people as of late, when I've been down you've aways been there, always made me happy and always brought me back from breaking point. There's one person in particular and you know who you are, there's no need to mention names.

I thank you, for every, single moment you've been there for me in the past two weeks or so, I know you've been incredibly busy and at times I was maybe a little impatient and wanting too much of your attention.. but I thank you. In the past two weeks, I've learnt a lot, I've wanted to give up and just break but I've kept fighting and that leads me to today. I leave shortly and although I will be closer, I will miss you every single freaking day.

You mean so much to me, without you, god knows what would have happened. Through all the up.. and the downs.. (my horrible moods. lol) I've learnt so much from you and I hope that it doesn't just stop here.

You are so amazing, you make me smile so incredibly much, every moment I speak to you, I grin like a little kid around christmas time. You have no idea how much of an impact you make. If only you did.


Thank you.

Learn to believe.

You're amazing

:)

Armerica.. 00004

Almost there.

Armerica.. 00003

LEAVE TOMORROW!!!!