Sometimes,

I can't handle holidays.
Too much family drama.. and when the day actually comes, magically they put smiles on their faces and all is good and dandy.

Fuck you, all.

The end.

Merry Christmas

I hope you all have a fabulous day and it's filled with joy.

Merry Christmas.

Feel festive and stuff.

Fuck..

Christmas.

So totally not interested this year.
Over it.

Chilling

In the pool.

What is that feeling?

It's really odd, for me to be able to talk to someone and to walk away feeling like I want more, like I crave that person, like I really want to be talking to that person. Usually when I talk/type whichever context it may be I walk away and think "eh, that was alright" this person, which I shall not name, or even nickname for the moment.. Talks to me.. and leaves me waiting and wanting.

I don't know what it is about this person but it drives me completely crazy, we can talk for 2, 3, 4 or even 5 hours and when they log off, to go to work, I lay in my bed wondering. I don't know how healthy this wondering is, but I guess for now it's okay. This person spends the time with me, that any real friend would, this person doesn't judge and is always there, no matter what crazy shit I have to say.
This person, is only recently a new friend, but I hope this person can stay friends for a good while.

Fingers  crossed and things with this friend could be great. If only things stay as they are, and everyone is happy and on the same page, this friend could be around for a super long time.

Because they're worth it.

No living, no.

Sometimes, I wake up and I don't feel like living. It's not like I feel like killing myself because its not like I haven't thought about it, I would just never do it. I simply just feel like turning the other way and curling back I to my pillows. Ignoring everyone and everything that comes across or happens.

Normally when I wake up like this, I am incredibly grumpy, which seems to be the norm for me lately. But I just don't get it. Nothing ever seems to go right and at the last second always takes a right turn. It's like yay you had your two weeks of happiness BAM you don't deserve this anymore.

Either or. I think I'm really over it as of late.
This is the last week of work, with staff here and then it's all the holidays.. Eventually it'll be five weeks time and I'll be going away for two. It should be great.

Other than that. There isn't too much more to say.

The end.

hm.

When should one give up..
When should one move on..

No writing..

Because, well.. I just simply don't know what to say.

Long Distance

I'm not a fan of long distance relationships, I believe that loads of people go into them so they have something, in the moment. Its a 'now' thing now a 'furture' thing for most people and therefore people go into them expecting them to stay online and just keep that person as someone they can be close to and always have around.. even if it isn't physical, it's someone they can talk to and feel comfortable with, without exposing themselves completely.

Most people online have such negative outlooks on online relationships and I totally understand why, how and whatnot but when you're trying to do something and get somewhere, it becomes very taxing and very irritating. The only way I would get into a long distance relationship is..by meeting the person, preferably him coming to me.. him putting in as much effort as I would, lots of general talk about multiple things, also meeting in an area around/with other people for the first time. Then I would only continue things with this person if there were ways we could see each other fairly often, by this time either one of us could do the flying.. and then after that step and a fair bit of time it'd only go further if the effort being put in is still the same, feelings are still the same and one person would move counties/states etc.

You don't truly know if you love someone until you meet, you don't know how things will go until they are standing in front of you and you've touched them. Anything could happen, the person could be fake, they could be some serial killer and what not, so until the steps above have been completed you can't fully 'fall in love' or know this or know that about a person.

I totally forget where I was going with this, but I guess my point was that relationships can begin as online and in the end they can end up as a happy ever after. Negative/judgemental people give me the shits, especially if they've never given anything a chance or even stuck their noses into the wrong place.
In the end it is the person who's doing its life and they can do as they wish. Just be happy for the person, be supportive and keep your own crap to yourself.

I thinks that is all.

Scurrrred.

Shit's getting real.