Compromise?

This is a big question, sometimes, Also a question that a load of people get wrong, it shows when someone is being selfish or when they're thinking of the other people around them as well, it shows how well people listen to what's being said and how they understand it and how they go about things.

I think compromising is hard, it is for anyone because people are people and people always want what they want. People don't like to give a little here and there, when they know that it will benefit another person because they're completely stubborn.

I think compromise is incredibly important in work situations, along with families and pretty much every day life. I think that it is incredibly annoying when people don't compromise and are incredibly selfish and I think that people need to wake up a little bit to see things.

Lets go for an example, the last three days now, I've had an ugly rash on my face and if I don't keep cool, it flares up and I can't do anything other than loose concentration and focus on the itching, the first day I suffered in the office, pretty much walking out for most of the day to pass out on the couch with an icepack on my face, the second day I had put a fan on, I'm not a small girl so it was basically only hitting me, on the lowest setting there is. If there was no fan the day would have ended up similar to the day before and I'd still have gotten no work done.

Sooo.. on second day, the girl next to me.. who clearly doesn't know what clothes are, was wearing the strappiest dress on earth and she complained that she was cold. The options were, turn the fan lower (it was lower) turn it off... (yeah right) or to move it to the other side.. (pointless because it only hit my leg) so what was I supposed to do? Turn the fan off to make her happy when they KNOW its an air-conditioned office but refuse to bring jumpers? Or continue along my way and keep working with the fan on?

Well, as usual.. she got her way and I ended up taking piles upon piles into my room of paper work that I could do, to get it done and then save some time at a later date. I mean it all worked in the end but the fact that she complained about it, pissed me off. It's never on and it's never like that, my face is never this fucked up and needs air, so its usually okay..

But in the end it makes you wonder what goes through peoples heads, what they think, what they know, how they think things should be and how much they enjoy aggravating you.. Oh wells, in the end she'll be gone, gone away with all the drama and I honestly can't wait till she's gone.. OOoh and also she'll be cut down to less days a week because, y'know give people more time and they get less work done *rolls eyes* 

They never use their time wisely. They're given more time to meet deadlines and they just pussyfoot around. Its incredibly pathetic for a job that they're getting paid for.. and to have a father that has to deal with all the complaints, it gets a bit much. Anyways, these peoples will be gone soon, so lets leave it at here.

:)

Fuck, Fuckity Fuck!

Omg. Huge lesson tonight - Eating healthy really DOES go a long long way.

So its been.. 3 and a bit weeks now that i've been on my healthy eating plan and also gyming it, and I've felt a huge difference in the way that I feel, in the way that I wake up, how I spend my day and also act around people, I've started to notice that around my face and my stomach, I've lost a bit of weight and maybe toned. I honestly am starting to feel great.

When we go out, there is no big need for me to have breads or carbs, three weeks and I haven't had pasta, or rice. I've had the tiniest bit of potato and bread and very, very few soft drinks. maybe two? in the last three weeks. After the initial.. first couple of days of trying to get off the shit being eaten.. and the withdrawals its great, I think. When you go out you look for the healthier options, like a salad instead of a burger, add some chicken to it instead of adding bacon and what not to the burger, etc and you just feel better all round.

Moving on from food, I think.. i'm almost.. just almost addicted to the gym. We (sister and i.. sometimes mum and a friend) go almost every night.. its like routine now, you finish work or leave early, get ready, jump in the car, usually pick the friend up and off you go. Its what you almost grow to expect and if it doesn't happen its like O.o.. what's missing? Its quite scary, but i guess.. three weeks so far.. and its probably the most I've ever used the gym membership. I guess I'm paying for it this time :P

Tonight we ended up going out for dinner.. and I think it was the worst idea ever. I've been eating meat and pretty much green veg, for dinner ever night and I honestly love it, I've yet to get bored.. and I cook my food pretty plain so there isn't many sauces but there's always always always plenty of flavour.. andddd.. Tonight i had ribs and salad.. and the sauce, from the ribs made my stomach go upside down.. From not having anything like that to even just a little.. I swear its the worst feeling ever.

So, Tomorrow's a lovely new day.. and I don't plan to be going out for dinner again any time soon if it makes me feel this horrible again. I'll happily stick to my salads, my veg and my protein.

`On the way to a 'bigger,' better, smaller, hotter me :D
That's all for now :)

I...

I'm so worrieddddddd... worried as fuckkkk!

Poor loverboy :(

Sometimes.

I don't like when people comment on my posts because they go back ages and if you haven't read mos of them in some type of sequence they don't know why it was written and it looks a bit silly...

Bad Habit

I have such a horrible habit that happens when I'm feeling down or depressed or.. like a failure that always arises to the surface.. It is absolutely horrible and it drives me crazy. Its like, the worst habit you could ever have, the fact that it can happen in just a few words, the person could be so close and two moments later you've pushed them away too far its almost impossible to save the friendship.

Everyone I speak to, I speak to because I want to, I tell them what I want too and if I don't, I obviously won't.. but sometimes I just can't handle.. I find things impossible and over the top.. Its not always but of course it happens a load around that time of month. I don't mean too.. sometimes it just happens out of my control.. and all I want to hear is.. "no.. don't go."

Its that.. human thing of wanting to be needed, wanting to feel like you're wanted other than.. "yeah go- if that's what you need" because obviously I don't need to go, I just need.. I guess a pair of arms around me. and It's bad, because of the way that I go about it. This is my fault, yeah.. but I haven't quite figured out how to get around it yet.

Oh well. I guess I'll learn one day.


Too many blog posts tonight. Too much on my mind. Too much driving me crazy.

Fat..?

I feel so flat.
Like absolute crap..

It is so hard, to do anything with weight loss, although I have in a week done 2kg, 4.4 pounds.
It's something and for that I'm really, really happy but I just feel really confused, lost, struggling. Everyone in the house, minus my father is on a health kick and it's all good but ughhhhhh.
I'm kind of stuck for words.

On the scales, since the last time i weighed myself, i mean like.. at the beginning of this year i'm really not too fat, from what I was, but it's enough to not be happy and to struggle and to attempt to get through this. I think I have a crazy goal and maybe i'm not giving myself enough time to achieve it and obviously it won't happen over night but its just so fucking frustrating.

When you see things, you want to eat them and IF you do eat them, most the time they taste so horrible. I was at my grandparents today into tonight and they offered me a can of diet coke.. I really had no choice to say no because he just handed it to me but to finish the can it took me hours. The taste of it was quite disgusting.. so that's soft drink out of it.. no problems at all.

But the rest sucks, I need to sort things out.. I need to find a way that it suits me..
Fuck fuckity fuck.

That's enough for now.

:)

Lover boy?

...maybe

Gymimg it.

It's been four days or so since I joined the gym, my sister is hooked an always going so of course I've been going with her, slowly getting more and more into it.. Although getting ready and leavin the house is the worst part. It's okay though. Four days since I've joined and I've so far been here three days. Not a bad effort for a dislike of gyms all together, battling weigh issue isn't really fun but it's time to make things better, more than letting myself and getting worse.

It's time to make the lifestyle change, rather than just do some crappy diets, healthy choices rather then.. Shitty ones. I decided I'm going to get off the diet I'm on and do just that, salads and tuna or chicken for lunch rather than sushi. I can do it. I wonder where this effort and positive look on things has come from. Funny thing is I'm sitting on a spin bike and my legs are going round and round as I sweat and type. So delicious.

Thanks muchly to all the people helping and supporting. It certainly does help when everyone in the house have started the health kick. Soon we'll look just as good, if not better than others.

:)

Dealing.

Sometimes, I feel like when I'm put in a situation I can't breathe, I get stuck and my first emotion is anger. I'm such an incredibly angry person and sometimes it drives me completely batty, the worst problem being that I know, how I get but my coping mechanisms don't seem to change, or I'm that stuck in a funk that I don't see any other way. Ican say that I have changed a load over the last couple of years but there's still so much growing to do.

I hate situations that make me feel uncomfortable. Even sitting next to someone where there's tonnes of tension. Right now I'm sitting next to the girl I always sit next to but there's so much negative tension between us that it's insane. It makes me just want to walk out and not come back till someone else is in the room.

It's not that I hate her, well maybe a little but she did things to get me feeling the way I do towards her, it wasn't just a random hate that appeared out of no where and till this day, it cotinues to be all about her and she thinks shes top shit because she does the work for one of the biggest companies ever. It's like HELLO you're completely fucked soon. As soon as they go, we becomes my bitch. Must train her well otherwise if there's errors, on shit she enters.. Good luck to her :)

Along with other, spare work that she'll be thrown I'm sure she'll have a whole load of fun. It seems like today she can finally move over and sit CENTRAL to her desk instead of everything  lapping over onto mine. Silly bitch needs to lean how to use a desk, without spreading her shit everywhere. Also some like, care for what she does and everyone around her instead of her 'oner' at the moment. It's like she's come in and from the beginning she was taken up under someone's wing and then believes that person is her boss, which she isn't and then furthermore, she has no respect for anyone else in the office, which of course makes the issues everyone elses and she's done nothing wrong.

Anyways, so you can see quite clearly that I don't know how to let go, but my head is so sore today by just siting here that I wanna reach over and slap her incredibly hard so she's knocked out and can't remember a whole while.


I hate the silent ones, they're always so deadly.

Loss.

I've got a new craze.

Lose 10kg in 5.. 6 weeks maximum.

So many people have told me that's too much, and for the moment the way I'm going with losing wright isnt the best, but all I want to do is drop it and the. Focus on makin it better and improving what I am to eat.

It's time for a change. It's time for a big loss. It's time to look after myself, time to make myself happy.

Goal is the weight and not to waste all this money I just spent joining the gym.

All I can say, is best of luck to myself. But I can do it, I'll push and get to where I want to be.

I can think of my next holiday of the reward, but obviously.. I'd like more then just 10kg by January.

We'll see. I may keep you guys posted. Its just the beginning of the journey.