Fat..?

I feel so flat.
Like absolute crap..

It is so hard, to do anything with weight loss, although I have in a week done 2kg, 4.4 pounds.
It's something and for that I'm really, really happy but I just feel really confused, lost, struggling. Everyone in the house, minus my father is on a health kick and it's all good but ughhhhhh.
I'm kind of stuck for words.

On the scales, since the last time i weighed myself, i mean like.. at the beginning of this year i'm really not too fat, from what I was, but it's enough to not be happy and to struggle and to attempt to get through this. I think I have a crazy goal and maybe i'm not giving myself enough time to achieve it and obviously it won't happen over night but its just so fucking frustrating.

When you see things, you want to eat them and IF you do eat them, most the time they taste so horrible. I was at my grandparents today into tonight and they offered me a can of diet coke.. I really had no choice to say no because he just handed it to me but to finish the can it took me hours. The taste of it was quite disgusting.. so that's soft drink out of it.. no problems at all.

But the rest sucks, I need to sort things out.. I need to find a way that it suits me..
Fuck fuckity fuck.

That's enough for now.

:)