I have such a horrible habit that happens when I'm feeling down or depressed or.. like a failure that always arises to the surface.. It is absolutely horrible and it drives me crazy. Its like, the worst habit you could ever have, the fact that it can happen in just a few words, the person could be so close and two moments later you've pushed them away too far its almost impossible to save the friendship.
Everyone I speak to, I speak to because I want to, I tell them what I want too and if I don't, I obviously won't.. but sometimes I just can't handle.. I find things impossible and over the top.. Its not always but of course it happens a load around that time of month. I don't mean too.. sometimes it just happens out of my control.. and all I want to hear is.. "no.. don't go."
Its that.. human thing of wanting to be needed, wanting to feel like you're wanted other than.. "yeah go- if that's what you need" because obviously I don't need to go, I just need.. I guess a pair of arms around me. and It's bad, because of the way that I go about it. This is my fault, yeah.. but I haven't quite figured out how to get around it yet.
Oh well. I guess I'll learn one day.
Too many blog posts tonight. Too much on my mind. Too much driving me crazy.
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