Work, Home, Work..

I feel so lost and lonely tonight, I feel like I'm dropping deeper and deeper into a deep, dark and scary place. I honestly don't know why this is happening nor why I'm feeling like this, but all I know that its horrible. Work lately has been disgusting, around certain people. Its becomming to hard to deal with, almost every day. These people don't even understand what they're doing and how they're acting, although they're always the first ones to blame it on someone else because their shit don't stink.

I understand that to these people they're only doing a job, at the end of the day they leave the office and walk out of our front door, they have no more worries, they don't have any stresses, they don't have wages to pay and each and every week they get their pay and y'know life is good.
But when do they realise that they work for a company? a small, family, business that depends on revieving moneys from their clients for their own staff to be paid? when will they realise that it comes to a time where the company won't be able to afford them?

Sometimes it makes me wonder what world people live in, what they think when they're at work and when they're talking, when they're doing stuff and if they ever do stop to think about others. Clearly this isn't the case, what so ever. Does no one care how they make people feel? do they not care how what they say affects the other person and how that person, being around can make a whole office feel so incredibly uncomfortable? Honestly, I don't know how much more of this I can take.

Everyday I wake up in the morning, its like "just another day" another battle and another day of stress to get through. People don't understand in these little businesses that if the business isn't running, everything in the background, the people and the family are also stressing. Its not necessarily my problem nor my stress to worry about but for some reason, being concerned about family isn't too far away from under my wing. I do care, of course I care and I think in this certain circumstance, this silly bitch needs to be removed from the senario, or the work should be taken away from her so that the problems finally stop. I mean she wasn't hired for this.. but no matter how much I say, it doesn't matter most the time.

Everyone thinks I'm bias, because I hate her.. but there are several reasons for this, and they're actually genuine and actually, for once is more than just.. "I just hate her." Its so fucking frustrating, knowing that when you wake up, every day will be like the last, the office surroundings will feel horrible, because as soon as she walks through the door its like HUGE amounts of anger and frustrations radiating off her. She thinks she can say and do as she likes and pays no attention to anyone or anything else. I think its time for a reality check.. if only I could think of a subtle way of doing so..

*begins brain storming*

hehe..

*whispers.." "*

Just incase you were wondering..

I won't be blogging anymore.. or at least you lot won't be seeing it. (unless its something meaningless and rant-y.)

The End~

Happy Days.

Relating to the person mentioned in this post.. I decided to write another.

Simply starting with..:-

Happy Birthday!

You, my lovely one, deserve the best day one could ever have, I honestly wish I could have been there to do all I could to make it maybe a little bit better, but I guess I'll just do what I can from oceans away... (I think I already did that.. *insert small, bratty giggles here)

I don't take back any words mentioned in the last post I wrote about you, for a good while we've been talking now and I honestly have not regret one day, from that little hard few.. weeks to now it has all been a journey and one definitely worth going through.

You are an amazing guy, you know all the right things to say at the right times and I consider you one of my best friends. You had helped me through rough times and you have always always managed to put a smile on my face.

Again, I thank you a million.. for everything that has happened and we have both been through together, without you I honestly have no idea where I would be right now.

This may be a bit repetitive and soppy.. but Thank you.. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to have began talking to me that day...

Once again.. Happy Birthday.

p.s. that guy i described on yahoo to you... was you.

- Angel

End it.

I love it when people read blog posts of mine and think they're about them. A few people have done it but this big drama shit? from the very first day, they assumed that the posts were about him, they thought that everything I wrote was about them and no one else. They have no idea what happens in my life, who I'm missing, who I care about but yet, they always thought it was ALL about HIM or THEM.

Do we all see the problem here? There are very few posts that I have written that involve them, or even mention them. Maybe the post was written on something that happened with him/them but never were they mentioned or even brought into it, a lot of the time it was just my thoughts on the situation.. that's right, my thoughts..

I'd like to mention too, that from day one, when the first post was misinterpreted it was about a guy that I was really close with and a now 'ex' coming back into the situation, I was upset and a mess and someone was all sad saying that someone had died, some how that moved four days later to "I Love you" and ever since that shit hasn't stopped. I'd like to clearly point out that I Don't Love You and I haven't. Sure we were friends, we got close but in four days to say those words? bit creepy, don't you think?

I cared about you, you were my friend and nothing else, it was horrible seeing you suffer and I, out of kindness tried to help you as much as I could but now? now what? now you two make everything into drama, I could have ruined things between you two with just saying three words and you would have left her and come to me. but I didn't.. why didn't it? because I wanted nothing, and ever since you two have been together you've been trying to make it like I'm jealous and I want him. I don't think he's telling the truth on everything and she's just a stupid bitch for believing everything.

You're both as insecure as the other and you're driving me fucking crazy. Erase my name from the sentences you speak, don't think about me, don't love me and leave me alone for fuck sake.

I still have more proof about things that happened after the date of the '16th' but I'm not going to show anything more than that one paragraph , I'm not going to wreck anything and you can both live happily.. just quit the fucking drama.

Its not fair on me, but he's not treating her fair either. Clear your shit up and start fresh. Its doing my fucking head in already. Move the fuck along and quit thinking everything's about you, Its all happened now.. but don't let it happen again. it isn't fair to whoever the other person copping all this shit is.

Just incase you missed a very important point.. I'm over it, I want nothing more to do with either of you and I want ALL this drama to stop. Grow up, act your fucking ages.. I'm younger than you both. End it..

End the drama and live, live your own life how you wish, without including me in anything.

bleh

I feel so lost today, so confused and so, just.. bleh.

I'm over unnecessary drama, I'm over people being immature and pathetic.. I'm over it all and I wish people would grow up.

Sigh, I feel so lost, in my own head. I hate getting close to people, I hate how things happen online and how pathetic people can get.. honestly I don't understand how I can really do anything..

People will be people.. and no matter now long this lasts.. you can't expect anything more from them, I guess..

The end.

Meh.

I..

FUCKING MISS YOU

:/

its been too long..

If Only..

...If Only, This Was.. Possible..

Meaningful.. 019..

Sorry, I know some of you will be angry, and others of you will feel bad, maybe some would be sorry..

But I'm incredibly sorry too..

sigh.