I'm so incredibly antsy tonight.
Almost feels like, i'm about to break down mentally, physically and emotionally.
Like I'm.. I don't know how to explain it, I feel lost and like I want to cry... I've wanted to cry for days, weeks even, but he always seems to swoop down and rescue me just at the right moment.. I don't think today this will happen, I think I finally might have a chance to let go, and cry my eyes out till I can't no more.. except it'll get to the part of crying or where it's supposed to start.. and i'll be like.. what the fuck?
Besides such, I got three solid hours of sleep last night and.. a fourth hour, of very broken, interrupted sleep.. I'm completely shattered and I really wish for nothing more than to be in his arms, or just reading the way he types to me, the way he 'holds' me so close and makes me feel like he's actually here..
Funny, just as I was going through to fix a few spelling errors in those first couple of paragraphs, he replied to, two of my emails from earlier.. sure it means a lot.. but my mood has changed none, I feel no better and this REALLY sucks.
It hurts, so much.
Why does this always happen?
.One.Day.Hope.Isn't.Over.Yet.
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